Get your shoes tied for the race of a lifetime. Personally, I’ve never been a wake up at five in the morning Thanksgiving Day to run a 5K type, but to each their own. The global wellness industry is worth $3.7 trillion and, when you think about it, there’s some sort of athletic event happening all the time. All in the name of being in shape or for the selfies or whatever. It’s exhausting. Still, if a race is for a good cause, it’s nice to watch the athletes do their athlete thing from the comfort of the sidelines, knowing that my donation is going toward something positive. All without breaking a sweat.
The creators of the Boerne 0.5K know the same feeling. In 2018, the event gained national attention and went viral as it was coined “The Running Event For The Rest Of Us” as a little poke at the religiously athletic. It raised money for the charity Blessings In A Backpack, which provides weekend meals for children who might otherwise go hungry while not in school. What the two organizers wanted to be a laugh between a dozen or so people who donate to the charity turned into something huge.
In 2018, the 0.5K race started at one brewpub and ended at another. A healthy BMI ranging between 19 and 24, the “race” was equipped with sustenance stations, but they were for beer, donuts, and — for some — a midpoint smoking lounge. For those who couldn’t muster the minimal effort, there was another option. Limousine drivers average about 105 trips every week, but this one would be an unforgettable one. Those who wanted to be a part of the 0.5K but didn’t want to exert any physical effort could pay to be VIPs who were driven in a restored 1963 VW bus from start to finish.
Participants gathered in ridiculous outfits. They ate, drank, and were unabashedly merry as they completed their challenge. Between 71% and 73% of Millennials drink booze of some sort and the 0.5K encouraged safe, yet liberal imbibing. The event itself lasted something like 10 minutes, then they celebrated their efforts with yet another beer or three. All said and done, the 2018 Boerne 0.5K raised over $20,000 for Blessings In A Backpack.
Given its success and national fame, they couldn’t not do it again. So on May 4, 2019, the Boerne 0.5K came back with roaring popularity. About 35% of people wouldn’t have discovered a business if it weren’t for a sign, but the internet made short work of the 0.5K’s exposure this year. Registration sold out in 37 minutes and they raised $46,000. Among the 2019 updates were some humorous quips.
“The World’s Most Important Race in the History of the World, Ever” is a tongue-in-cheek event that will not only lampoon the typical 5k, but also those made-for-overachievers-obstacle-course-adventure-races,” says their site.
You could pay to have two people participate for you complete with a live stream via GoPro and full commentary. This could all be enjoyed from the comfort of your couch. The starting and finish line bars generously donated free beers to each participant pre-race and post-race. Since it took place on May 4th, Star Wars costumes were highly encouraged, there was even a costume contest.
“NEW FOR 2019! Announcing the Boerne 0.5k Adventure Mud Warrior Crossfit Terrain Spartan Obstacle Course and Gauntlet “Race”. We heard you loud on clear on the post-race survey that we never sent out and that you never bothered to return – we need more action, you didn’t say! So we’re giving you EXACTLY what you didn’t ask for – rope swings, climbing obstacles, mud pits, 12-ounce curl stations,” the site reads.
It’s the goal of the organizers to make the 0.5K an annual event for the town. Thus far, they’ve been successful in doing so. The 2020 Boerne 0.5K is set to take place on May 2, 2020, so be on the lookout. In the words of the founder, there’s an easy way to prep for next year’s race day:
“Do as little as possible.”