Raising a child in two different homes may be necessary if you’re currently divorced or separated from your spouse. This situation plagues many families today, but you can accomplish it with the right practices in place. The following tips will help you raise your children in two different households and still provide them with the love, care, and nurturing they need and deserve.
1. Enroll Them in a Private School
You may consider putting your kids into a private schooling system if you need to begin raising a child in two different homes. Private schools offer many advantages that can offset the emotional strain the kids might experience due to the divorce proceedings.
For example, your children will receive extra attention from their teachers simply because the classes are much smaller. They won’t get lost in the shuffle like most children who attend public schools are.
Your children may also have access to special classes and learning materials if you enroll them in the best private schooling systems. The schools may offer faith-based programs, unique athletic curriculums, and recreational activities that aren’t readily available in typical public school systems. Researching to find a reliable private school can be one of the most heartwarming gifts you can offer your children.
2. Keep Your Children’s Health Up to Date
Another tip for raising a child in two different homes is to ensure they’re healthy. Ensure you have local pediatricians in both housing locations to take your kids to for regular checkups and emergencies. Ensure all their shots are current and they can access their required medications. For instance, make sure your asthmatic or allergic child has his or her inhaler and enough allergy medication to keep any negative symptoms at bay.
You can locate local pediatricians by performing a search engine search for a provider in your area. You can also refer to a telephone book or ask friends, families, and neighbors if they know anyone who can help. You might be surprised by some of the answers you receive.
3. Hire a Divorce Attorney
The fact that you have children makes the presence of an attorney necessary. You’ll need one to help you arrange a situation where raising a child in two homes is feasible. A respectable attorney can advocate for you and help you in various ways.
Most attorneys can act as mediators to ensure you and your estranged spouse or partner can communicate on a reasonable custody and visitation schedule. You can choose from an abundance of arrangements. One common arrangement is for the child to stay with one parent all week and the other during the weekend.
Some parents opt to split the time evenly across the years. All kinds of alternative arrangements are available, but you might need an attorney to help the two of you talk to each other about them.
Attorneys can also help the judge decide the child’s best interest. He or she can represent you and try to paint you in the most favorable light for success in your case. A good family law attorney can also assist with setting up supervised visits if necessary.
You’ll need to hire a complicated divorce lawyer to give your family the greatest advantage for a successful post-divorce arrangement. You’ll discover if prospective attorneys can handle complex issues once you schedule the first consultation.
4. Get Some Advice
You’ll have the best chance at raising a child in two different homes successfully if you get divorce advice from professionals and people around you. First, you should have a support system of family members and friends who can offer sound advice about the divorce. Ask if you can receive some advice from the emphatic people in your circle and take some time to sit and chat with them about your current circumstances.
You might also take this time to find a good family therapist. A family therapist can advise everyone in your family about the divorce or separation process. The best part about hiring a therapist is that you’ll have the opportunity to allow your children to speak to this person. Your kids can tell the therapist how they feel about the separation and get the help and support they need as it progresses.
Another option you might want is to hire a life coach. Life coaches are great at allowing people to make decisions while acting as an extra ear and supporter. They come from various backgrounds and have various types of training under their belts. You might find such a person’s services helpful while raising a child in two different homes.
5. Please Make Sure They Know It’s Not Their Fault
Having a heart-to-heart conversation with your kids is necessary even before hiring a divorce attorney. Many children take the world’s weight on their shoulders and believe it’s their fault when their parents don’t stay together. For that reason, you must schedule a time to sit down and talk to them about their future.
Let them know that the differences between you and your ex have nothing to do with them and that you both love them very much. Tell them not all families get to stay together, but you will ensure they receive all the love they need from both sides. Explain the new living arrangement as a cool new adventure that will allow them to have the best of both worlds.
It’s important that neither of you have a hostile attitude toward the other. That’s easier said than done sometimes, but it’s necessary to foster a healthy environment. The children will pick up on that and experience stress and anxiety. Therefore, you must work together to create a positive environment for your children and make them feel safe when entering either home.
6. Give Them Access To Both Families
Ensure you keep both families around your children so that they can get a well-rounded upbringing. It’s one of the most important factors in raising a child in two homes. They need to feel a connection to both sides of their family. So, it would help if you fostered these relationships as long as doing so isn’t detrimental to anyone’s emotional or mental health.
You can ensure your kids will have time with both families by keeping in touch via telephone or video chat. You can also schedule visitations for the other parties in the families. It’s just one way of expressing to your kids that not much will change when you and the other parent are not together.
If you are a custodial parent, child support attorneys can help you get the funds you need to provide your child’s food, shelter, and clothing. They can look at your income, expenses, and previous living situation and coax the judge to award you with a fair child support amount. You can also negotiate with your ex on these matters if you’re on speaking terms.
7. Ensure They Have Everything They Need for School
Ensure that your kids have all their school supplies and uniforms for school. That way, they can feel confident when they have to spend time away from home. You may be struggling with finances because of recently moving into a one-parent household. Fortunately, you can take steps to bring additional income into your home.
One idea is to sign up for a second job to earn additional income. Many places hire part-time workers to fill slots when full-time workers can’t work. You can also find a gig that aligns with your scheduling needs. A wealth of people are now involved in rideshare activities and food delivery.
Maybe you have some valuable items in your home that will be useful to another party. For example, you might have clothing or electronic items you can sell. You can list them on a popular auction site or put them in the newspaper in the classified ads. That might be beneficial for you.
Alternatively, you can set up a yard sale, so people in your neighborhood can purchase the items you no longer need. Another idea is to take some items to a pawn shop to see how much you can get for them. Many places offer cash for jewelry and antique goods. Pawn shops buy items and give loans using them for collateral.
It’s up to you whether you want to sell those items or give them up temporarily to get a quick cash loan. If you choose to pawn the jewelry, you’ll have about 60 days to repay the funds and the finance charge to get your jewelry back. An outright sale is also an option.
There’s a way whenever there’s a will. Therefore, you can raise a child in two different homes and still succeed in life and parenting.
8. Set Up Both Homes Accordingly
Surroundings are important when raising a child in two homes. That means your home and your ex-spouse’s home should have items that your child loves. Try to set up a room in both locations where your child can go to feel comfortable.
Ensure you have the appropriate furniture, linens, and entertainment he or she is comfortable with. In other words, set up a gaming system in the second home if your little one has one in the first home. Also, you’ll need to create a peaceful environment in both homes. So be it if that means doing a paint job on both sites.
Use color psychology principles to choose the best colors for a desired result. Yellow is a bright and astonishing color that represents happiness and well-being. It would be a good idea to paint your child’s room yellow or at least have a few yellow items in the room for him or her to reference.
You can make your transition go more smoothly by hiring a moving and storage company and putting some of the child’s items in there until it’s time to complete the move.
Storage facilities are typically inexpensive and can be reserved for one month. Some facilities have promotional deals that offer one month of storage for free or a small contribution. Check the local listings to see what’s out there for you.
9. Get Help for Depression
It’s not uncommon for people to get depressed as they go through divorce proceedings. So, consider yourself normal if you experience overwhelming sadness about the end of your relationship. However, you’ll need to be there for your children to ensure they have the healthiest upbringing you can give them. Therefore, you might have to invest in getting some depression therapy.
A mental health specialist can walk you through feelings of worthlessness or sadness and help you restore feelings of confidence and wellness. This professional can use a variety of tactics to work with you. Depression specialists usually accept insurance policies. Thus, you can sign up for a session using the number on the back of your health insurance card. You might even have some options you were unaware of through your employer. Many employers offer their workers free access to mental health services; maybe you can take advantage.
Other providers may offer installment plans for their services. Finding such a provider might take a while, but it will be well worth the investment. You’ll want to bring your best self when raising a child in two different homes. The happier you are, the happier your children will be when they spend time with you.
10. Make Your Mommy or Daddy Time Awesome
Finally, you will need to make the time you spend with your child awesome. That’s how you go about raising a child in two different homes. You allow your child to have so much fun that there’s no time or desire to feel sad. Do activities that put a smile on children’s faces.
One example is to take your son or daughter to an amusement park. You can also go on a camping trip where you can teach your kids about survival and appreciating nature. You can do fun things with your child at home as well. Maybe you can take out a paint set and create something beautiful with your child. Another idea is to let your little one help you write lyrics to a song. The idea is to make every second you spend with your child a high-quality second.
Use the tips above to navigate raising a child in two different homes. You’ll see how these strategies can help your little family thrive in these challenging circumstances.